Accepting Praise

As Eric noted yesterday, we just enjoyed a wonderful occasion: my mother's wedding! While the days leading up to the ceremony and reception were very busy and, frankly, stressful, watching their happy faces and jubilantly teary eyes seemed to make it all worth it. All of the headaches and drama from the week of rushed preparation that led up to the big day seemed to slink away and all that was left was a happy, full, heart. (More pictures of the wedding are soon to come, we promise!)

We all did a lot to prepare for the big day, but I felt a lot of additional pressure leading up to the wedding because I'd promised my mother a big task: I'd told her that I would learn a few songs to play on my ukulele for the reception.

I just learned to play the ukulele a couple of months ago; I barely feel proficient with the instrument. When it came to be my turn to step up and play, I felt nervous and nauseous. Eric was beyond supportive and simply encouraging, as were my sister, brother, and his girlfriend- but I still felt my stomach dropping out of me in a fit of nerves. As I played, the place fell eerily quiet and people seemed to actually listen, which only terrified me more. I pushed through the songs and looked up only at my smiling mother, who was dancing with her new man, and at Eric, who smiled in the most supportive and loving way. The songs flew by and I retreated from the stage to supportive applause, wanting to hide from all the faces that had just been staring at me.

I've spent the last ten years loving acting, adoring the standing ovation after a show, and savoring stage time. So you probably think it's odd that I'm so uncomfortable with praise. All night, people would compliment me and say sweet things and I just wanted to run from the conversation. And I'm willing to bet that, if you were me, you might have wanted the same.

Why is it that some of us are so uncomfortable accepting praise? Is it because we are shy, or introverted? Or because we are insecure in our talents? Perhaps some combination of the three, or perhaps there is something else deterring you from taking pride in your accomplishments. We could spend a lot of time discussing why you are uncomfortable- instead, I'd like to engage us all in efforts to become comfortable.

Even if I know I am good at something, I struggle to accept praise. But I make an active effort to face that praise and allow myself to be proud of my accomplishments. It is not narcissistic or selfish or egotistical to be proud of yourself! Allow yourself to revel in the fruits of your labor. Even when you feel embarrassed or disappointed in yourself, listen when someone compliments your efforts. After all, why would someone lie about your hard work? Strangers like these hardly care about your feelings! If you're being complimented, you likely have merited it. Challenge yourself to accept praise, just as I did when my singing and playing was complimented last night. An accepting "thank you" feels so much better than trying to brush off positivity!