Resolution Check In Time!

It's June, and you know what that means? It means we're halfway done with 2017! Hooray! Remember those New Years Resolutions you made six months ago that were going to change your life? Did you totally forget all about them?

Look, New Years Resolutions are kind of dumb because they've been made kitschy and shallow. People yell out their resolutions in drunken and tired fits at 1 AM on New Years Day, screaming to the world that this is the year they STOP SMOKING, START INVESTING, GO BACK TO SCHOOL! Then they wake up hung over the next morning and put off their resolutions until it's more convenient, easier, or cheaper (aka, never). The following year leaves them thinking, "I didn't do what I wanted last year... but I'll make next year better." Next year won't be better unless you make it better, and your resolutions aren't going to complete themselves! They are resolutions because YOU ARE RESOLUTE TO COMPLETE THEM! So let's pull out that crumbled up piece of paper or open that note on your iPhone at the bottom of the list. We've only got six months left!

I make a habit of making five resolutions every year. That number is big, but achievable in my mind. I also try to stagger my resolutions between small and big goals: things I know I can do and things that will take more conscious effort. This past January, as I celebrated with a new boyfriend in Charlotte as the fireworks erupted outside, I wrote my five for the year down:

1. Stop boozing.

2. Read/see more plays.

3. Be a better friend.

4. Build up savings.

5. Find happiness, with someone or alone.

Let's see how I'm doing, shall we? Number one: stop boozing. When living in Chicago, I drank a lot to cope with my insane workload and frustrating social situations. It was unhealthy, but I kept justifying it saying that I didn't have a problem and that it was just for fun (we'll talk more about alcoholism in later articles). Part of me was right, but I was afraid the other part was wrong and that I did have a problem. So I aimed to stop drinking: if I couldn't quit cold turkey. As it turns out, I've done a great job! Deciding to quit was all I had to do to make it happen. I enjoy winding down with a drink at the end of the day, but that drink can be tea or coconut milk, as it turns out, not whiskey or beer. I still drink occasionally (and a good deal, if on vacation), but never to a point that makes me feel unhealthy. Goal number one is on a clear road to success.

Number two: read/see more plays. I started the year out strong, seeing "An American in Paris" and shows at my old university. Then I was in a play, too! And since early April, when my show ended? I totally dropped my good behaviors and have been reading only nonfiction and the occasional fiction novel. I'm still reading, which is great, but not plays in my field, and that's bad. I'm going to set a goal for myself to read or see one play every other week. Hopefully, by the end of the year, I can step it up to one a week.

Number three: be a better friend. I feel I have especially failed in this goal. As the year began, I moved out of Chicago and in with my boyfriend. I've been focused on my relationship and future with him, as well as maintaining relationships with my family members. These relationships are very strong, but I've failed my friends. Just yesterday, I'd planned months in advance to visit with a bunch of college friends to watch a play we were all in together, and I backed out because I was too busy. I feel terrible about this, like I'm losing touch with some of the most valuable people I've had in my life. I'm working to fix this, starting today. Every week, I am going to initiate a long conversation with at least one friend. Not just exchanging pleasantries, but catching up, asking about their problems, seeing how I can help, and inviting them into the details of my life. Long distance friendships are hard to maintain, but that doesn't mean they aren't worth it. Friends, you can expect my calls shortly.

Number four: build up savings. Whooo buddy, have I done that. I started the year with a pretty deflated bank account. I sold most of my possessions and ditched Chicago in order to save money for grad school. I managed to swing a full ride scholarship to school, but I still have food, housing, and bills to consider. To prepare, I've been writing five or more articles every week and working 20 or more hours on the house we're renovating, shoveling most earnings into savings. My savings are still not where I want them to be, but I'm getting closer. To push myself further, I'm cutting back on expenses as much as possible- fewer expensive date nights, no more TJ Maxx frivolous shopping, and only cheap trips. With this in mind, I'll hopefully reach my savings goal of a strong emergency fund within a year.

Finally, number five: find happiness, with someone or alone. With the new year, I was enjoying a new relationship. I'd only met Eric in November, but I fell for him hard and fast. However, I'd just escaped an unhealthy relationship and I was very afraid that I was falling for Eric simply because I felt alone. Though that wasn't at all the case, it was a reasonable fear- one that I was glad I'd considered. So I aimed to put my happiness paramount to all other things: above pleasing others, above fixing people I loved, and above my professional success. I'm happy to say that I may be most successful here, and I think it shows! I'm the healthiest I've ever been, and fitter than I've ever been before. I rarely watch TV, but spend my free time writing, playing instruments, learning, and reading about self improvement. I have found some happiness, and am clear on the path to finding more and more- and I have no intention of turning back.

So we've reviewed my list and developed some new goals to get any derailed objectives back on track. Now, I think it's time you reviewed yours. Did you quit smoking; or did you decide now wasn't the right time? Did you break up with that person who made you feel inferior; or have excuses to stay together kept popping up? Did you cut back on watching TV; or did you decide to push fitness or family time aside in order to make time for it?

NO ONE IS GOING TO ACCOMPLISH YOUR GOALS EXCEPT YOU. Be firm and resolute in your attempts to overcome your obstacles. When people discourage you from your goals or enable unhealthy behavior, be resolute and comfortable in the decisions you have made for your life. That is, after all, the only way to become stressless!