When It All Hits at Once
So I'm in Cincinnati (yay!) and last night, Eric and I were sitting in the hotel bar (the only place they offer free wi-fi) and, while I'm checking my emails and looking over my to-do list, it all occurs to me...
I'm going to grad school in a month and a half; I still need to find a required part-time internship; I still have to finish my summer reading; I still need to arrange to move all my things to Cincinnati; I still need to sign the contract for our new house and ensure it's even good enough to buy; I still need to write a contract for the house-flipping we'll be doing in this new house; I still need to help Eric purchase a trailer or truck to get work done at the house; I still need to get a parking permit for campus; I still need to write 6 articles this week, despite being stuck in a car 3 of 7 days and needing to write blog posts as well; and oh yeah, I'm about to be crazy broke and exhausted for the next two years of my life.
I am so. Totally. Screwed.
As I'm sitting next to Eric, it's like he can hear the building scream in my throat even though I'm sitting next to him in silence. I'm ready to cry or scream or punch something, and he probably doesn't quite understand why- but he can feel that, currently, I am the opposite of stressless.
So I thought the most productive thing I could do was to help you all walk yourself through the anxiety of these moments, in an effort to do so myself. So let's start by taking a deep breath and dive in...
First of all, you are not alone. Whoever and wherever you are, there is someone somewhere that can empathize with your current situation. Luckily for me, one of my greatest rocks is sitting right next to me (Eric), but yours may be states away, or maybe even someone you haven't met yet. But as soon as you let yourself believe that you are alone, you will isolate yourself and make this whole situation feel 8 times worse. Call someone or talk to someone- don't take your problems out on them, but connect with them and intimate that you're struggling with your responsibilities. It'll help to share that burden with someone who cares.
Second, make your list. This is absolutely the hardest and suckiest part. As much as you don't want to think about all the crappy things that are on your list, you've got to make a list of things you need done and when you need them done by. This helps separate your actual responsibilities from your perceived responsibilities (the real pressures versus the illusory ones); it also helps you realize what you can do easily and quickly, versus what will take longer and needs a structured timeline.
Third, take a breather. This is important. Go to bed. Walk away from the list. Not for a long time, but for a few hours or for the night. Even if you feel you could be doing some of that list immediately, you'll feel much more refreshed taking care of yourself right now than your to-do list. So put on a 15-minute face mask or watch some Netflix (I'm talking to you dudes, too); your list will be there when you come back feeling recharged, refreshed, and empowered.
Fourth, eat the elephant. As in, find the biggest and most challenging task on that list, bust out a fork and knife, and take that sucker down. For me, that's currently my housing situation. I feel nauseous just thinking about taking this on but I know I can do it, and I'm going to use this handy little guide to help...
Fifth, tackle each task with immense ferocity, but do nothing you aren't obligated to. If the next task isn't a pressing matter on the to-do list, skip it. This might mean skipping icky short projects, like transcribing notes from a summer reading book, or skipping things you really want to do, like take a weekend at the beach with friends, but you've got to do what you've got to do to calm your psyche. It's time to take care of you and your own- those other things can wait. That said, everything you've got to get done should be prioritized by now- which means you can look at your list each morning at breakfast and decide what you are going to do AND ACCOMPLISH today.
You- ahem, we- can do this. Even when it sucks. Even when it seems a hell of a lot easier to send in your two weeks notice or resign your power to someone else. If I can move to a recently bought foreclosure in a new city where I'll be a full-time student with three part-time jobs helping my boyfriend to renovate a home, you can do what you need to as well. We can do it.
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